So I wrote the following piece of shit the other night when I was drunk and angry, and I thought really hard about scrapping it altogether, but looking at it now, I think there is some substance to it. One of my ex’s is a psychologist, which was a nightmare, because it fueled my inferiority complex and made me always try to outsmart her so I wouldn’t fit into one of her “textbook descriptions.” But whatever, that’s another story altogether, but what my time with her DID do, was make me not be so quick to discard material that came out of my head, inebriated or not. What I took from her was, nothing you think or say is nonsense. Because it’s still organic, and still coming from somewhere in your brain. So this is what I wrote in my phone the other night, hunched over, drunk, one eye closed, tapping the stupid keys with my stupid fingers into a stupid “notepad” app:

To preface this, however, I will say, that I don’t feel this way about ALL women all of the time, I just feel this way about ALL women some of the time:

 ”I recently declared bankruptcy in order to keep living my bizarre, irresponsible lifestyle. And since I believe in my own talent and ability more than I believe I can keep a woman for any extended period of time, I’ve just accepted this as the way it’s going to be for life. A new car, a new house, forget it; don’t give a shit. I’ll live in squalor before I betray who I am as a person. Because women, for as much as they love to pretend are special, are, at their core, extremely predictable: they want “security.” It’s ingrained in their species to not contribute anything to society and rely exclusively on men. (There are a few exceptions, but not many.) Anger you at all? Well, guess what, sweetheart. There’s never been a better time in history than now to go out and get that security for YOURSELF. You got that college education and competitive salary you wanted so much for 100 years, right? Wanna go to work and be that “career woman?” By all means, do it. Because I absolutely refuse. It’s YOUR turn now, honey. *YOU* go make all the money, and *I’LL* take half. I’ll stay at home and watch my soaps. And while you’re at work in your little suits, getting hit on by moist, greasy, “businessmen,” I’ll be at home pumping iron and fixing the goddamn sink. And if this doesn’t appeal to you as a woman, then good luck. I will not have the life sucked out of me by a job I don’t actually want. I am a writer, and I am the greatest of all time. The greatest. Of all time. And I know how to fix a goddamn sink.”

So there are obviously some issues with women there. Not sure where they come from. Adoption might have something to do with it. I’d ask my psychologist ex, but she’s no longer speaking to me. But at least she’ll never find me in one of her textbooks.

Never add a signature to your blog post, it’s stupid,

-The Thryll

Posted 1st February, 2012