I don’t understand people who give up on a restaurant just because they “got sick.” I think these people are weak.

My philosophy is, if it tasted good going down, then anything abnormal that happens after that is my fault. Because look, your tastebuds and your colon aren’t always going to get along. Sometimes they quarrel like siblings. So if my stomach is deciding to be an asshole that day, I’m not going to hold it against the eatery. Their responsibility ends at making the food tasty.

For example, I’m writing this from the toilet during an especially traumatic bout of diarrhea, which I can only assume is the result of last night’s Thai dinner that Jim Phillips paid for. But do I hold it against the restaurant? Absolutely not. The food was delicious! My general rule of thumb is, I have to get sick a good 6 or 7 times before I completely discredit an eating establishment. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, you see. In fact, there are some restaurants that are SO good, that I would continue to eat at them even if they blew a golfball-sized crater in my small intestine.

But that’s just me. I’m unemployed and generally don’t get to eat meals that aren’t hot sauce and bread.

Posted 21st December, 2011